Let’s set something out there right now – I’m a born and bred Church of God In Christ member. I may not like everything with my denomination, but I know one thing; if something is set upon someone’s heart by the Lord, I know that it will be blessed.
To give a bit of background (this will be a lengthy post, and it will be about church, marriage ministries, and a little bit of sex. Stick around) last year during a women’s conference for our jurisdiction, I decided to open up and see exactly what I may have been missing from all those years that I’ve been jaded about conferences. For ME, I just felt that I wasn’t finding the connection to God that I had before, and there were LOTS of reasons why. Feeling like people in my age group that didn’t conform to what Holiness LOOKED like (I wear makeup, I have natural hair, I laugh loud, I’m not a church mouse by ANY definition) were often overlooked for opportunities to minister in the fold.
Now, I’ll kindly stop right here and let you know that I realize that a relationship with God doesn’t rely on being in the church, but it just FEELS good to be surrounded by people who love to worship in the same way that you do. I’m aware of it, and that’s what I’ve had to keep in the forefront of my brain as I’ve made a concerted effort to start worshipping in a way that works for me.
With all of that out of the way, one of my friends, who happens to be a pastor’s wife, teamed up with her husband and created a marriage conference named The P.R.E.S.S. Conference. Providing Relationships With Effective Spiritual Solutions. You know us church folk love a good anagram. I appreciated this one way more than I anticipated.
Shomari and I left our home at about 6:30 in the morning on Saturday to drive to Decatur, and expected a nice sit down talk with various couples married for varying years, and to be dismissed and sent back on our merry way to Chicago. It was a nice sit-down, but it was so much more. There was laughter, oh was there laughter. There were tears, there were very transparent moments, and there were opportunities for wives (I only can speak for us since we were in our own sessions for the first part of the morning) to really support each other in being better.
The one thing that was REALLY stressed was the fact that we NEED to take care of ourselves. That may be common standards, but inside the church, sometimes women are told that they are here only to be mothers and wives, and nothing else. We’re to submit. We’re to nurture. We’re to fulfill everyone else’s needs, while constantly ignoring our own. It was a breath of fresh air to hear this, and to SEE folks who have been married for 40+ years who have gotten through it. Of course, we talked about sex. Who doesn’t like a good frank talk about sex? It wasn’t raunchy, but it called into play the roles of men and women, and how sometimes neither gender really understands what the other wants or needs from the other during lovemaking. It was a great talk, and not nearly as embarrassing as it could have been.
Even if you’re not a churchgoer, or even spiritual in any sense, but you’re married, it’s so important that you take time to connect with your spouse. Truly connect. No social media, no kids (if you’re blessed enough to be able to do anything without them,) no other family members. Just you, and your spouse and a good movie, or a good talk, or a good bedroom session. Go for a walk, a swim, spend a day in the museum. Just do something, together.
After the conference, we took a detour to see the friends that we witnessed get married last year. The company was much needed, and I love that they poured into our need for outings with saved married couples and I hope we were able to do the same for them.
I can’t wait for next year’s conference, and I hope that there will be growth, and that it will be so well attended that we have to move venues. I’m not sure why I’m sharing with you all, maybe because those of you who live in or around Decatur, Illinois can attend if you can. Maybe it was just necessary to share some of the GOOD that has been happening since I feel like I share so much sponsored content, and sometimes you need to just show some other aspects of your life that don’t revolve around DIY projects, cooking, or reviews.
I go to church. I love to worship. True unadulterated worship. It’s who I am. I’m happy that I’m not having as many Sunday moments, and more Saturday ones.