Harvey, IL UPS Customer Center is Trolling Me

And I’m not here for it. 

For backstory as concise as I can manage, here you go. 

My husband, the awesome Shomari, saw the longing in my face when I was able to play around with a Nikon d750 at the birthday party of my best friend’s daughter this summer. It’s larger, faster, and more crisp than my d3100 (although I’m keeping her too, because she’s gotten me this far.) and as expected, it’s a lot more money. Good thing I found a refurbished one on B & H Photo, and batted my eyes and did other wifely type things to get it as an early Christmas present. 

BAM. Ordered AND I also tacked on a 50mm f/1.4 lens and an Epiphanie London bag. But I digress. 

This story is about the UPS Customer center in Harvey, IL and their MASSIVE fail over the last SIX DAYS. Y’all. Just for reference, I got two packages delivered last night at 10:30 and the driver didn’t even ring the doorbell or knock on our door, even though he saw my husband and I putting our curtains up. This is my REGULAR driver. Maybe the center told him I was in looking like Cam Newton that morning. 

This story begins Thursday morning when I woke up and received notice from UPS My Choice (which is actually pretty awesome as a tool) that I was getting my new camera body and lens that day. I was ready. I was waiting. Darkness fell. No delivery. At 10pm that evening, the system updated and stated that my delivery was going to be late. Fine. One day lost wasn’t completely horrid. 

When I woke up Friday, I had high hopes. I just KNEW that my camera would be on the truck out for delivery to me. I listened for every rumble on my street that sounded like that big brown truck. I even looked for the Budget rental trucks that they use in a clutch. Nothing. I then had to leave for the Harlem Fine Arts Show in Chicago, without my camera. Ticked off didn’t even begin to explain how I was feeling. 

Why was I so ticked? Because I paid for two day shipping. Because UPS has a guaranteed delivery promise. Because the people at the Harvey, IL UPS DO NOT ANSWER THEIR PHONES EVEN WHEN YOU CALL ON THE HOUR EVERY HOUR! So I did like any other red blooded American, and tweeted, Facebooked, emailed, called, sent carrier pigeon and stewed. Finally, I got in touch with someone from corporate and they scheduled a pick up for me first thing Monday morning, since the customer center is CLOSED ON SATURDAY DURING THE BUSIEST SHIPPING MONTH OF THE YEAR! 

So, I planned to drop Mr. Houseful off at work (one car families have to do things like this) so I was already mad because I had to leave my warm bed at 6:30 in the morning to go and handle foolishness that should have been handled last Thursday. I dropped him off, he told me not to maim anyone. I mumbled “mmmhmmm” and immediately called my friend Michelle in South Carolina, because she was up, and it was a full hour later in her time zone. I then drove to the UPS center and parked my car as I waited for the doors to open. After the clock struck 9 am, I proceeded to leave my car only to be told by a worker that I couldn’t park where I was parked even though the entire lot was full. Y’all. It was Monday morning, and I’m saved, so I told him in no uncertain terms that his center sucked, parking sucked, delivery sucked, and I think all people in brown uniforms that work here are all out to get me. He apologized and told me where I could park without being towed. I gave one more glare for good measure and huffed off to pick up my package. 

I entered the center and there was ALREADY A LINE. At 9:01 am! Were these people still there from Friday?! Where did they come from?! Ugh. So I entered the line, and when my turn came, I went up to the counter and just let every piece of frustration out in controlled tone while never cracking a smile. The lady told me that the package was set to be delivered that morning (UM, NO!) and to top that off, she gave a different address for delivery. She also called me Shomari (who I put on the list just in case I was not in control of my emotions) and that Shomari would have to call. Check Cam’s face again up top to see how that worked out. 

After looking at my ID, my business card, and a piece of mail, she went back to look for my package. MEANWHILE I hear the UPS workers in the back sorting packages and screaming “I EFFING HATE UPS!” at the tops of their lungs. So professional. And no one corrected them. Now everything makes sense. 

The blond lady came back to tell me that the spot where my package should have been was empty, and she thought that it was on the truck for delivery. She then asked for my name and number so she could call me when it showed up. 

Check Cam’s face again. 

I told her to find my package. No smiles. No “That’s okay, it happens” Natasha.  No “preacher’s wife” Natasha. Just “no-nonsense” Natasha. A full, “you’ve had my package for four days,” Natasha. She got, “If you don’t find my package before 10 am, I’m going to turn this ENTIRE CENTER upside down” Natasha. Remember how the Grinch smiled when he realized that he was going to steal Christmas? That. And I freaking LOVE Christmas. I also happen to love cameras, and I had to put in hard work with Mr. Houseful for that camera, and OH MY GOD, I BURNED GOOD CALORIES FOR THAT CAMERA! 

She found the package. THEN she wanted to keep the package because I didn’t bring a utility bill with my name on it. First of all. Who gets utility bills sent to them anymore? We go paperless. Also? I’m a kept woman. READ HOW I GOT MY CAMERA! Third, I WOULDN’T HAVE TO PRESENT A BILL IF YOU ALL DID YOUR JOB ON THURSDAY! You ONLY SHIP! That’s it. ONE JOB! That’s it! DO IT! 

At 9:56 am, I walked out of the Harvey, IL UPS Customer Center with package in hand. 

I am now happy. The camera is a beauty, and all is well again. For now.