During the time where I spent looking like this, and if you can’t tell I’m pregnant – this photo was my pregnancy with the ladybug, MANY people attempted to touch my belly without asking first. I hated it.
I totally realize that there are several women who LOVE to have people touch their bellies. I just happened to not be one of them. It was an invasion of privacy to me, and most of the time, people weren’t even touching the baby, just my belly, and well, that got kind of creepy. I even had some people who would like to touch the underbelly, and THAT was just too close to my crotch. Hey, you get the truth here.
Here I am this past Sunday. I have a pouch.There’s no baby in there, just fat. I’m very, very sensitive about it, so imagine my surprise when one of the members of my church came up to me (while we were in front of SEVERAL people after dismissal) and RUBBED MY BELLY while ASKING IF I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN.
If I had less melanin in my skin, I would have turned beet red. Instead, I got hot. I got embarrassed, I got mad.
Yes, I got mad. Mostly because the lack of boundaries with people from my church is one LARGE reason why I don’t feel comfortable there anymore. There’s a reason that I go to church and that is to receive the word of God, and hopefully while I’m there to feel like I am in a place of love and support, not judgement and embarrassment.
For some odd reason, women feel as if we can say and do things to another woman that we would go clean off about getting done to us. Here’s my main issue:
The person that touched my belly and I are not particularly close, so I have no idea why they would think that if I were indeed pregnant, that I would tell them before telling anyone else.
I sat and thought about this for a while. Do I blog about it and then read the differing reasons as to why my reaction may be misplaced? Sure, why not. I mean, I basically stated all of what I’m typing now to the offender. Do I think that will stop her? Probably not. There are some people who truly don’t understand the error of their ways. Will she touch my stomach again? Probably not. If she does, I’m not sure that I would be as nice as I was this time.
But for the most part, I had to look within myself. Was my anger misplaced? Honestly, I don’t think so. I think that one should be VERY careful about approaching a woman about pregnancy. I’ve already had one person (once again from my church) approach me about being pregnant as I was actively going through a miscarriage. Life happenings didn’t afford me the pleasure of being able to stay in my house and curl up under the blankets like my mind wanted me to. So I had to go out, and deal with all of the congrats, and the hugs, and he explaining over and over again that I was in fact not pregnant.
What if the offender had been rubbing the stomach of a person who was in fact going through a miscarriage? Or who found out that once again this month they indeed were NOT pregnant. What if?
People, you must keep your hands to yourself! Unless a woman tells you with her own lips that she is indeed pregnant, don’t assume. You may be walking into a minefield, and it’s not their obligation to save you.