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Don’t Touch The Belly

Don't Touch the Belly

During the time where I spent looking like this, and if you can’t tell I’m pregnant – this photo was my pregnancy with the ladybug, MANY people attempted to touch my belly without asking first. I hated it.

I totally realize that there are several women who LOVE to have people touch their bellies. I just happened to not be one of them. It was an invasion of privacy to me, and most of the time, people weren’t even touching the baby, just my belly, and well, that got kind of creepy. I even had some people who would like to touch the underbelly, and THAT was just too close to my crotch. Hey, you get the truth here.


Here I am this past Sunday. I have a pouch.There’s no baby in there, just fat.  I’m very, very sensitive about it, so imagine my surprise when one of the members of my church came up to me (while we were in front of SEVERAL people after dismissal) and RUBBED MY BELLY while ASKING IF I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN.


If I had less melanin in my skin, I would have turned beet red. Instead, I got hot. I got embarrassed, I got mad.

Yes, I got mad. Mostly because the lack of boundaries with people from my church is one LARGE reason why I don’t feel comfortable there anymore. There’s a reason that I go to church and that is to receive the word of God, and hopefully while I’m there to feel like I am in a place of love and support, not judgement and embarrassment.

For some odd reason, women feel as if we can say and do things to another woman that we would go clean off about getting done to us. Here’s my main issue:

The person that touched my belly and I are not particularly close, so I have no idea why they would think that if I were indeed pregnant, that I would tell them before telling anyone else.

I  sat and thought about this for a while. Do I blog about it and then read the differing reasons as to why my reaction may be misplaced? Sure, why not. I mean, I basically stated all of what I’m typing now to the offender. Do I think that will stop her? Probably not. There are some people who truly don’t understand the error of their ways. Will she touch my stomach again? Probably not. If she does, I’m not sure that I would be as nice as I was this time.

But for the most part, I had to look within myself. Was my anger misplaced? Honestly, I don’t think so. I think that one should be VERY careful about approaching a woman about pregnancy. I’ve already had one person (once again from my church) approach me about being pregnant as I was actively going through a miscarriage. Life happenings didn’t afford me the pleasure of being able to stay in my house and curl up under the blankets like my mind wanted me to. So I had to go out, and deal with all of the congrats, and the hugs, and he explaining over and over again that I was in fact not pregnant.

What if the offender had been rubbing the stomach of a person who was in fact going through a miscarriage? Or who found out that once again this month they indeed were NOT pregnant. What if?

People, you must keep your hands to yourself! Unless a woman tells you with her own lips that she is indeed pregnant, don’t assume. You may be walking into a minefield, and it’s not their obligation to save you.

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Jen C

Saturday 12th of January 2013

I completely sympathize with you! After my son was born I have had about 40 extra pounds and a pooch. We only planned on one child. All of our family and friends know this. But coworkers don't. So I have had SEVERAL ask when I'm due, how far along I am and more. Each time they seem unfazed that they've just insulted me. One would think this would be a no-brainer!

Mrs. Houseful

Sunday 13th of January 2013

It can be so mortifying, and I don't think people even care. Basically, the desire to be "first" to know something has eradicated all resemblance of manners in a large amount of the human population.

Dedra Brown

Tuesday 8th of January 2013

I read this post and then immediately thought, "Wait. Did she put her hands on you? Did Natasha just post that someone violated her personal space?" What the heck is wrong with people? I take issue with people violating my person, and yes, I consider it a violation to be touched by people with whom I share no true acquaintance. Simply stated, I don't like to be touched. I don't like people that talk with their hands and touch my shoulders or grab my hand. Most of all, PLEASE do not touch me and proceed to inquire about my personal business just because we are sharing the same air space.

Some people are just rude...

The truth behind the glow

Tuesday 8th of January 2013

I drafted a blog about this exact thing today. Being 5 months pregnant, I cannot tell you how much I hate strangers touching my belly uninvited. If asked I usually say sure thing, but it's the uninvited invasion of my personal being that I absolutely despise. Back off our bellies people - preggas or not, it's just wrong! X


Monday 7th of January 2013

Seriously, people kill me. It's been almost two years since I had my daughter, but the pooch remains. Not that long ago, someone kept referring to me as being pregnant. When she finally went to touch my belly...that was it. These people would not want you asking them if they were pregnant. And what if I had been going through a miscarriage? You just don't know, and unless you know, you should keep your thoughts to yourself. People really need to learn to filter their thoughts before they come out of their mouth...or their hands!

Mrs. Houseful

Monday 7th of January 2013

It's a sad state of affairs. I also don't understand what pushes someone to touch someone that they aren't really close to anyway. Just in general, that's not good practice. Thank you SO much for stopping through and commenting in my little neck of the woods. :)


Saturday 5th of January 2013

Your reaction and emotion are were not misplaced at all. In my opinion, that was just flat-out a rude thing to do. I never liked anyone touching my stomach without asking while I was pregnant either, and I have strong feelings about my body and my personal space. Unless I know you--*really* know you like that, no one is allowed to cross those boundaries except my immediate family. (lbvs) You were totally in the right on this one!

Mrs. Houseful

Saturday 5th of January 2013

You always come with such sage words! I'm attempting to assess my reactions to lots of things, and this one I just couldn't shake. I realize because it's not meant to be shaken off, it's meant to be discussed and taught that boundaries exist for a reason.

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