Are you like me? Do you love guacamole? Should it be its own food group? I sure do think so. There’s nothing better than going to a restaurant with Mr. Houseful and getting guacamole served table side. But YO! That joint is EXPENSIVE AS ALL GET OUT! Guacamole shouldn’t cost the same amount as an entrée, and I’m here to show you how to make it just as good as the restaurants do. By the way – our favorite place to get table side guacamole is Adobo Grill in Lincoln Park next to Piper’s Alley. There was another one on Division, but it closed, because people are RUDE and don’t go and eat there. Possibly because they’ve learned the proper way to make guacamole. SEVERAL years ago (okay, almost 14) I learned one of the best ways to make guacamole ever. I’m biased, and it’s my blog, so it’s the best. Please note, there may be a lot of yelling.
I’m going to let you know right away that if you’re not a cilantro lover, then this isn’t the recipe for you – and furthermore, HOW ARE YOU EATING GUACAMOLE PROPERLY?! You’ll need for a personal portion, because you won’t want to share – 1 large avocado, one RIPE but firm tomato, one lime, about a tablespoon of finely chopped cilantro, one bunch of cilantro, one small red onion, coarse salt.
Here’s the deal. It’s a bit of a work in progress, but all great things are, correct? You’ll also need a mortar and pestle. They are great for muddling all types of things, but mine gets the most use for releasing the cilantro flavor a bit more than fine chopping will do. You need to rough chop the cilantro before putting it into the mortar and then grind it until you release quite a bit of the juice from the cilantro. You can add that directly to the avocado and then the flavors will blend, and everyone will sing your praises. Pinkie promise
If I were a true overachiever, I would have made fresh tortilla chips, but I’m not, so there’s that. As far as instructions go, here we go.
Take your avocado and slice it from top to bottom. Remove the seed – to do this, you can use your knife to impale the seed, and twist it out. Please do not slice your fingers or your hand off trying to do cool tricks. Use common sense, and no one will get hurt. Cross cut the avocado flesh, and then scoop it out into your bowl. Dice your red onion and use about two tablespoons in your mixture (less if you don’t like onions all that much.) Seed and chop your tomato and drop that right into the bowl as well. Finely chop a tablespoon of fresh cilantro and sprinkle it over the top. Squeeze one rolled* lime into the mixture. Mix it all together, but try not to make it to soupy, because the best think about homemade guacamole is chunkiness. You want to SEE your ingredients. Serve with chips and you’ll wonder why you don’t treat yourself to the luxuries of life more often.