Last month, I was brought a Kia Soul loaner to travel for the summer in. Full disclosure – I was not a fan of the boxy shape of the Soul, and well, I didn’t think that I would really be that into it. Even when it pulled up in front of my house after I had just gotten back from a Kia immersion trip in San Diego, I was still a bit reserved. Listen, I’m anything but a rubber stamper of vehicles. I wanted to review the Sedona or the Optima in general, but here I am, on my fourth week or so with the Soul, and I’m kind of falling in love, dare I say. That isn’t what this post is about though. It’s about finding a path to the bridge to the heart of one of my children. Because, I’m not anything but opaquely transparent.
My teenager took this picture. This was the start of a second week of wonderfulness, and little did I know that in a couple of days, we’d be in our first full blown power struggle. Yes, maybe I’m being a little bit more dramatic than I should, but it’s the way that I felt. Like my life was titled after one of those click-bait articles, “Mom’s world gets rocked by this action from her teenage son,” yet, there wasn’t a happy resolve at the end. For now. Teenage years are hard, yo.
No, I’m not becoming a grandmother, so you can go somewhere with that. I’m talking about rocked with rebelliousness and just general teenage behavior. But you know, MY kid, my wonderfully handsome, intelligent teenager wouldn’t, couldn’t, COULD NOT POSSIBLY make me feel some type of way about him in such a small span of time. Yet here we were. So, in order to curb that, I hopped in the car. I hopped in the car, sometimes alone, sometimes with my entire family, but that car has had all of us in it at some time, and it’s the first time in a long time that we’ve spent this much time together. You see, usually, my teenager is off by himself. We are no longer the group of folks that he wants to hang with, and I remember feeling that way, but having parents that wouldn’t let me just BE. And every fiber of my being fights against that because I remember just wanting to BE. However, sometimes in the BEING, we become lonely, and our thoughts get the better of us. You know? I don’t want my kid to be alone with his thoughts too long because I just don’t. It’s ROUGH being a kid these days, what with social media and screenshots, and just a general spirit of MEAN going around.
Or maybe, I just don’t want to be alone with my thoughts. Who knows.
I love my kid. I love my kid with every fiber of my being, and I am not a mother that will just chalk up this recent flip in behavior to just being a teen. My gut tells me it’s not. So, I’m going to follow that, and I’m going to use this car that we have as a mobile therapy of sorts. I’m taking the time to just – go for it. To establish a relationship with the teenager – AGAIN.
It’s weird how much time I spend in cars, and how much I didn’t realize how many healing sessions go down in them. This month’s healing sessions happened to be in a Kia Soul. Fitting, huh? It’s also weird that I’m trusted with telling you all about the Kia Soul, but now I’m telling you how I went soul searching in one. I mean, I’ll have a proper review up for you soon, of course, because that’s what I do.
The Kia Soul has taken us to eat nitrogen made ice cream at the Museum of Science and Industry. Despite his face, he had just a good a time as the littles did. I miss that about him, and I know that all too soon (in a year or so) I won’t have him around because of college. Egads!
All I know is, I didn’t expect the addition of a second car to be a calming spot in my life this summer. It seems REALLY odd to some, and at this point, I don’t care. I’m all about keeping my life, and the life of my family full of quality. And if we have to stay in a car all summer to do it, then so be it.
Thanks to Kia and DriveShop for the ongoing loan of this Kia Soul
I feel you, figuratively of course. But dang if you don’t make parenting look so danged cute, hard as it is, yo! And the Soul looks good on you 🙂
This is why I love you friend. You always say JUST what I need to hear. <3
This is lovely and real. Hang in there; you’ll both make it through with flying colors. Promise.
You have to PINKY promise!
Oh Natasha… these kids will always be the sources of so much happiness and worry. Trust your gut mama and build that bridge and love that boy hard.
Always so much happiness. Always so much worry. I wish that they could see the happiness as much as they see everything else – not happy.
I remember this place and I’m not looking forward to doing it again with The Clones. You are making it look easy, when in fact it’s serious that will not be said because swear jar. But I’m glad you found some peace in the Soul.
Thank you for telling me I make it look easy, because I am STRUGGLING! I have my prayer, my peace, and my partner (Mr. Houseful) to get me through this rough time.
My 16-year old just started driving on her own recently. I had thought it would be wonderful to have all that taxi time freed up. And, it is. But, holy cow, I miss being in the middle of all her stuff! It’s tough when they become (continue to become) independent. And, the fact that this is our whole goal in parenting – to raise loving, kind, intelligent, and INDEPENDENT kids…well, that’s besides the point.
And to hear from so many parents that you are doing them a disservice by being in the middle of their things is disheartening. I honestly believe that if parents were a bit more involved in the EMOTIONAL as well as the sports, and school stuff, we’d be better. Sure it’s uncomfortable, but we’re here to shield from hurt as much as we’re here to help them navigate the hurt when it DOES happen.
Love how candid you are with this! Parenting teens can be hard. Sounds like that Kia was helpful in many ways.
Life with my pre teen boy is hard. Oh so hard but when we are riding out, it is lovely. Sometimes we put all the windows down in the Southern heat and just breathe in that stiff air that some how lifts are spirits. I wish you and your teen well and cheers to the soul, your soul.
My sister would love this car! She has 3 boys and they are road dogs. They love cross county driving
Thank you for sharing this. I’m far from a teenager, but I honestly remember having the most honest conversations with my dad or mom in the car. It was a safe space and intimate that could talk and I felt I could at least share some of my feeling about what I was dealing with to my parents. Cars and road trips very therapeutic!
I cringe at some of the behaviors I showed as a teenager. I just wanted to be by myself and figure things out, and I’m still like that now when I’m upset. Driving is certainly therapeutic. People think I’m crazy for enjoying road trips but I get so much clarity and peace. I’m glad the car is assisting you.
Awww…look at their happy faces. It looks like they are having a ball. Keep enjoying your family moments, these times are for us to make as many memories as we can.
My son looked over my shoulder the whole time while I read this post. “Who is that?” “She looks like a fun mom.” “Is that her son?” “How old is he?” You guys always look like you are thoroughly and completely enjoying life…
Argh I’m just entering teenage years with my oldest who is 13. She gets on my nerves and it’s hard to deal at times. But we will make it through alive. Hopefully
I don’t have children but I think it is so true, often we allow our teenagers to have space. I think we should but at the same time so much is happening in there lives and you need to be aware. Unfortunately we are in a world where young people or using suicide as a way to cope with problems. Continuing being there for him ans sometimes he will just have to suck it up and take the car trips. lol As he gets older he will appreciate you more for it.
Looks like you had a great time driving the Kia Soul. Kia isn’t a brand I’m familiar with. My family and I like Toyota’s and Honda’s. My car provides me with privacy and comfort as well. Moms have to have their peace too.
Although I am not a parent, I know that parenting is a journey. It seems from this post that you have a great attitude regarding your journey.
I know you said you initally wasnt a fan of the boxed Kia Soul but I have always wanted to drive one. I think it is so cute and my first 2 cars were Kia so I am anxious to see how this one rides! Love your roadtrip shirt too!
You seem like a very wonderful mother and your kids are lucky to have you. Your love for your oldest shines through on this post; I remember what it was like being a teenager and it can be a challenging time not being a kid and not yet being an adult. The phase will pass 😀
Isn’t it amazing a little time spent in a car can be so healing and recharging? Plus bonding. Amazing and even better it just happened to all happen in a Kia Soul. I am looking forward to your summer of “soul” searching!
I just realized this was last summer. But still. lol
Thanks Angie! We’ll be doing another summer/spring of soul searching since the oldest kid is leaving for school soon! I can’t believe he’s old enough to be on his own now!