Not By The Hair On My Chinny Chin Chin

This post brought to you by a simple statement from one of my friends:

I HATE CHIN HAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I immediately and sadly agreed in my head and shared this little gem of a story below – of course it was consolidated.

Friday afternoon started off hectic. The collective (the four children) and I were heading down to Memphis, TN on a weekend road trip with Mor-Mor (my mother) and I needed to remove the cellist from school early. Granted he had already been there for an entire school day in general, but it was still an early dismissal.

As I made it down the stairs, I was met with an entire class of sixth graders. I will not lie – I do not particularly like school aged children. They’re mean, and judgmental little beings, and they do NOT think about what their comments may ¬†or may not do to someone. As soon as I made it down the stairs I heard:

“She’s got a beard!”

The boys immediately blamed it on the girls and the girls stood their looking dumbfounded. One boy in particular quickly stated, ” Mrs. Nicholes, that was NOT me!” So you know that it was DEFINITELY him. This also played on my issues with childhood bullying as well. Kids can be so cruel. Next time you see a teacher, give them a compliment, they HAVE to go through all sorts of sadistic training in order to deal with some of today’s children.

I say all of that to say that it has taken me YEARS to accept the fact that I will always have chin hair. I just have to get used to plucking, waxing, etc. However, there are some days where I just do not have the time to do it, and the scenario above is what happens when I don’t make the time to do it.

I will say, the embarrassment that I felt was not nearly as bad as when a high school friend’s daughter whispered LOUDLY to her mother,
“Why does your friend have a beard?” I wanted to cry. Seriously. I’m not sure when I exactly started sprouting these stubborn follicles, but I will say that they are very evident. It’s not just one or two stray hairs – it’s a SLEW of them. I’m mentally saving up for laser removal, but I’m also scared that I will be made into a zebra chin from the possible scarring.

I have a vivid imagination.

I don’t too much care about hair on my legs, and during the winter time, ALL bets are off about that. I don’t mind shaving my underarms and legs, but shaving a chin is too much like being a guy and I do not have any sort of penis envy going on right now. I just want to know why I’m going through a rather follicle-ly challenged DECADE right at the moment.

Anyone have any LONG term solutions. I’ve used Sally Hansen wax which honestly does last for a bit of time, but it lulls me into a false sense of security for two or three weeks and then *BAM* I have a full chin again.

Maybe I’ll check the yellow pages for traveling circuses that need bearded ladies.