I’m sure when you read the title of the post, you can answer with a “Duh, because they are family!” In my instance, that’s not the case. I realize that sometimes you can have family and they can be some of the most – shall we say ‘undesirable’ people that you have ever met. And in other cases, they can drive you up a wall, but when you dare think about them not being here with you on this earth, your heart may start beating a little too fast. In my household we do birthday parties for each year. I don’t know how I’m going to manage that with the twizzlers arrival, but come hell or high water, it’s going to get done. Most people feel that a birthday party every year is ridiculous. I’ve been told that I go too far, and no one really cares about the birthday party except for me anyway. But isn’t that enough? Aren’t my wishes enough to want to decorate the house in a theme and celebrate the life of someone who I carried for nine months?
Often times I am thoughtful as to if I would be this way if I didn’t lose my baby sister when she was 18 years of age. For some reason – and I sometimes hate myself for coming to the realization so late – life became so much more important when I no longer had her to share it with. I mean, while she was alive, I didn’t take my life for granted per se, but I didn’t embrace it in the way that I do now. I appreciate that lesson, but darn it if I don’t want her back here to SEE that she taught me a valuable lesson. I miss her laugh. I miss how she would taunt my then toddler son. I miss our conversations on the phone while I was away at school. I miss how much of a young lady she was becoming. I find myself wondering how she would have reacted to my engagement to Mr. Nicholes (who she swore was going to marry me when we were at a stage in life when we didn’t like each other very much) or her now four nephews and one niece – and soon to be twin niece/nephew/nephew/niece combination. I wonder if she would have been married by now, with children. I wonder what she would be doing. If she would be a stay at home mom like me, or part of the rat race. I just wonder.
Sometimes it takes a tragedy for us to get with the program. Do I love hard? Yes I definitely do. To a fault sometimes. I am hoping that what I pour into my children is a love and zest for life that will make an imprint on others like my sister did. I in no way want to lose them early, but I want them to live a FULL life. To appreciate all that is available for them to do and see, and experience. I want them to have a relationship with each other like my siblings and I have. We may fight occasionally, okay, maybe a little bit more than that, but absolutely NO ONE can fit a wedge between us. If one of us is hurting, then we all are. That’s family. And sometimes, you don’t even have to be blood to fit into that category.
What have YOU done for family today?