There Are a Group of People who are Rogue Toilet Paper Roll Changers

They must be stopped y’all. These rogue toilet paper roll changers are RAMPANT. I’m also aghast because so many of them are IN MY GENERATION!!!

These are people who will turn your toilet paper roll to the side THEY think is proper, and they’re okay with this madness. Like, they legit think it’s okay to go into a house that is NOT THEIR OWN and change things around. When my butt meets the toilet, I don’t want to wonder who turned my toilet paper around to face a way that I do not. 

*full disclosure though – I don’t care. I live in a house with four kids and that dude I married, and I’m just happy if someone remembers to put toilet paper ON a roll, instead of teetering dangerously on the edge of the sink, the tub, or the back of the toilet – the monsters*

If you haven’t guessed, I feel pretty strongly about this. You do not change things in a house that isn’t yours. That’s like me changing your nasty food, because it doesn’t mesh well with my palate. 

Or changing your cat out for a dog, because cats are demonic. 

Or me throwing away your wayward acting kids because they don’t know how to greet me. 

Or me throwing away all of your one ply toilet tissue because I feel it’s not up to standard to wipe my buttocks. 

It’s like me touching the thermostat in your house, or the tune knob on your radio. 

It’s like me throwing out a casual “Hey Google,” or “Alexa – change the station from jazz to R&B” as if I own your space. 

Y’all. Do better. Do not be that person that changes toilet paper rolls in the homes of other people. I mean, it’s rude. 

And if you’re changing out rolls of toilet paper in hotels, or public spaces, maybe you should go ahead and put in an application since you like changing them so much. Relieve the folks who you DON’T tip for putting toilet paper rolls in stalls or bathrooms you so brazenly use and desecrate in general. 

Are you one of the folks who changes toilet paper in homes that do not belong to you? If so, WHY? What’s wrong with you? Why do you feel that you have a right to change anything about anyone else’s home? 

WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!

Be one with YOUR bathroom. With YOUR toilet paper rolls. Otherwise, I’m going to wish you a rash so bad, you’ll wonder where you went wrong in the world. 

You would have ONE TIME in my home, and then you would be put on a list never to return. Try me if you wanna. I mean, the NERVE! Who raised you?! 

Good day.