The Miseducation of Mrs. Nicholes

Here it is again. The beginning of a brand new school year. The cellist is in 6th grade and the ladybug is being home schooled with a preschool sort of curriculum. I, however, am going through my own education of sorts. You want to know what class I’m taking? Hierarchy of Parents 101.

Let’s give you a bit of background. And just because I try not to be damning to anyone, no names, or positions will be shared here. Everything will be hypothetical and no one is guilty until proven so. ­čÖé

I have learned in the last five years that I hate parent groups. I don’t think that I will ever be able to serve on one again. I have had positions of leadership all times that I have served and I have found that there are two groups of parents that you have to deal with. Those that hate you simply because you are in a leadership position and those that help so that they can figure you out. This year, I’m attempting to not be a part of either level of parenting. No leadership roles (over other parents) no hating the new leadership, and no trying to help the new leadership. I know that last one is horrible, but it’s how I’m feeling.

One thing that I have learned about those of us who are type ‘A’ personalities, is that sometimes we can be a bit sensitive. I’m currently going through a bout of extreme sensitivity at the moment. Add to that personal issues and well, I’m not a bucket o’ fun.

What is it about being the President of the PTO/PTA that makes people wild with envy, or jealousy, or what? Isn’t the position put there to make sure that our children get the best that there is for them? What’s with the cliques? And I mean the YOU can’t join us cliques because YOU haven’t been at this school long enough, or you’re not open to doing ALL of the things that WE want to do?

I remember being in the position of chairperson, and I could NEVER get people to help out at the school for activities. It got so bad that I had to ask friends to come and man stations that some of the parents had stated before they wouldn’t be able to man. And guess who would show up at the event? Those same parents. It really hurt me to know that differences in personalities would cause people to just outright lie about things just so they didn’t have to help.

I’ll be the first to admit. I’m a stickler for protocol. I am. I like things done decently and in order. I like knowing that if we are charging a certain amount for a fundraiser, that you are getting a great product for the amount spent. I like for parents to pay attention to guest speakers when they come. Maybe that was my downfall. Maybe wanting parents to act like parents is not the proper way to go. I also don’t get the “If I’m mad at you, then I expect all of my friends to be mad at you too.” No joke, I spent the majority of one year having to have “secret” conversations with a couple of parents behind their mutual friends back, so they wouldn’t have to explain why they were talking to me. Um, HELLO, we’re PLANNING for school activities! I’m not having a party and not inviting the parents, this stuff that I do, for FREE is for ALL of our children.

Well this year, I’m taking a stand. I believe that after fulfilling my duties this year, I will let the current position that I hold go to someone else. Unfortunately, the cellist and his classmates may suffer, they may not. Who knows? Someone may come through and do a better job than I could ever. Maybe as a parent with three small children, I shouldn’t be in the school as much as I am anyway. It’s a lot to think about, and with some of the happenings of this past week and weekend, I have a LOT to think about.

You all have a great week and make it a fantastic Monday!


  1. Margaret says:

    I remember those folks. The “grown” people acting like we was all still in school with the attitudes and such. And I would always think “How sad that this is the place where they would choose to show out…their kids school” smh Mrs Nicholes good for you for walking away from the madness.

    • The Houseful says:

      It’s a shame. So far though this year, I’ve stayed away from most of them and I’m doing my own thing. Little by little, I’m going to move out of the way.

  2. Laura says:

    Oh, dear. Sorry you’re having to deal with this. Parents can be so childish. My own practice is to pick a couple of things I can volunteer to do, be reliable and do them, and then stay the heck out of everything else. If some folks want to be queen bees, I say let them have it. That seems to be where they get their fragile self-esteem.

    • The Houseful says:


      The horrible part is, these same parents would have an issue with young people acting this way. Where do they think that they get it from?!

      BTW – I saw your little one’s birthday party, absolutely fantastic!

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