The Mr. and I are finally spending nights together again. Often times we don’t get to sleep until four or five in the morning! How awesome is that?!
Surprisingly we get to chill out with two three week old rock stars who seem to have an affinity to staying up from about one in the morning until three and then waking several times for nursing. I would be misleading you all if I said that I wasn’t tired, BUT I count it all joy (for the most part) because being able to just look at the miracle that is THEM is amazing.
I can’t lie. I did have an ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME moment last week, when I FINALLY got Sir Twizzler down (at about six in the morning) and Papa Nicholes’ alarm went off. Not his fault. Not done purposely, but frustrating nonetheless. Immediately Sir Twizzler started crying and I had to get back up to nurse him BACK to sleep so that I could at least get two hours before the Cellist had to go off to school. It’s nights like this that sometimes make a parent want to throw in the towel. These are sometimes the moments when I go back in my head to being pregnant and not being able to sleep and wondering if it was really so bad. Especially since the twizzlers are usually going in surround sound by then. But don’t fret, usually they drift off to sleep and then we have some time to rest before the Ladybug arises and wants breakfast, and to watch her “shows” on PBS. I can not tell a lie (again) for the last three weeks, we’ve been spending more time in my bed than around the house. A lot of it had to do with not being as mobile as I wanted to be (even with getting up and walking the house for half an hour or so each day) and I was ( wait – I still am) tired. Little by little though, my energy is coming back. I’m able to stay awake longer and I can even smile at times when the babies are crying, and the ladybug is pulling on my leg, and the cellist is asking me for help with his homework, money for a field trip, and telling me about the newest fifth grade drama – all simultaneously.
Overall, these past three weeks have been interesting to say the least. I have found out who really will come through on those promises to come and help, and those who were just giving lip service. I have found out how strong of a mom I am and how strong of a father my husband is. I have learned that more children does not equal less love to each, but an expansion of my heart beyond what words can express. I have also figured out that I can actually process some things on two hours of sleep, and I can literally change diapers with my eyes closed. No, really….I can.
Family is important to me. More important than I could have ever imagined. It’s amazing at what strength can be pulled from you when you think you have none left to spare. And with that, Sir Twizzler is drifting off to sleep while watching Battlestar Galactica with his dad. I’m going to try and squeeze a couple of hours in. See ya!