And We’ve Hit A Pitfall

I guess I shouldn’t call it a pitfall, but I can’t help but think that it is. I don’t think that I am destined to have a low key pregnancy. You know, the one where you happily frolic through the tall grass and only gain the correct amount of weight, and you are glowing ALL. THE. TIME. Now, that’s not to say that I haven’t enjoyed being pregnant – however, I find myself hitting a wall earlier and earlier with each pregnancy.

Let’s take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

Pregnancy #1 – The Cellist

For all intents and purposes, we’ll call this the ideal pregnancy. While I did have a starting pregnancy weight of 128 pounds (yeah you read that right) I did gain 80. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes with the cellist and had to follow a STRICT diet plus endure four different blood glucose testings each day. That was the extent of the issues that I had with this pregnancy. I had very mild nausea – and I was in top health, so things didn’t hurt as badly as they would with the pregnancies of the ladybug and the twizzlers. The cellist moved well and grew well, and provided me with a labor that while intense, was over pretty quickly. Well, as far as labors go. I checked into the birthing center at a whopping 8.5 centimeters dilated and had the cellist about three hours later. Mostly because I didn’t know to push properly, and the midwife had to give me a down and dirty lesson. LOL!

Pregnancy #2 – Resulted in a miscarriage – but we were determined to have another, and because this pregnancy wasn’t long as far as weeks go, we felt fairly confident that we could get pregnant again soon. We decided to try the very next month which led to:

Pregnancy #3 – The Ladybug

This pregnancy was rough from the start. HEAVY,HEAVY morning sickness, that lasted until I was about four and half months pregnant. It was so bad that I lost a whopping 25 pounds! And when I finally got a reprieve from the morning sickness, I was diagnosed with an umbilical hernia at 8 months which required emergency surgery. I had Round Ligament Pain from about six months on, and just kind of petered out in general towards my third trimester. I LOVE my daughter immensely, but this pregnancy made me question whether or not I wanted to get pregnant again.

Pregnancy #4 – Also resulted in a miscarriage at 10 plus weeks. This pregnancy hit me a lot harder than I expected. Mostly because I was a little disappointed in the fact that I was pregnant at a time when the ladybug was having heart issues, and because I still had images of being pregnant with her still fresh in my mind. I was torn between feeling a little bit relieved that I wouldn’t have two children under two and then devastated that my body wasn’t capable at this time to carry a child to term. So I swore off trying until after my 30th birthday. Somehow, that memo never made it to God’s ears and in April of 2010 I conceived.

Pregnancy #5 – The Twizzlers

This pregnancy has been a little perplexing to say the least. Before I found out that I was pregnant with twins, I was relishing the fact that I hadn’t had an OUNCE of morning sickness at all! So, I was totally excited and a bit wary when the midwife ordered a 13 week ultrasound to check to make sure that all was okay. With her being my midwife for the ladybug and my midwife for the duration of Pregnancy #4 – she wanted to make sure that all systems were go for us. Little did we know that I would want to fall off of the ultrasound table. We found out we were having twins and my mind immediately started racing. I became a bit more paranoid, and ALL I could think about was trying to keep my babies in there for long enough to be able to birth them after nine long months. All of a sudden, I could care less about sleepless nights, or how much we needed in our bank accounts to raise TWO MORE children (and boy do we need a bit.) I just remembered the time last year, when I couldn’t stop crying because of the loss of a child that I will never get to meet, and started thanking God for the two that I just knew he was going to bless me to meet at the end of the year, or the beginning of next. He gives you double for your trouble for real.
All of this was great – and I was happy – and then…….my body started giving out on me. First my back went, and I went to Baby’s R Us (heretofore referred to as BRU) to purchase a maternity belt and a snoogle. LIFESAVERS! And if you aren’t sure what I am talking about, let me post a picture for ya!

The world’s best sleeping pillow for pregnant women – The Snoogle
And the maternity belt from heaven!
This happened to be the go to combination for a little bit and then the inevitable happened. My pelvis started hurting. Literally. Walking, sitting, climbing steps, yoga, getting out of the bed, all hurt – and BADLY. I will admit that for a bit of time I would just take the pain because SO MANY pregnant women would always voice their opinions about other pregnant women complaining about things that are pregnancy related. Especially since there is a large population of women who are trying to have a baby, and not succeeding month after month. However, I had to think about how I kept my mouth shut about the pain that I was having with the ladybug that turned out to be an umbilical hernia that I let go for TWO MONTHS for fear of offending one of my girlfriends who was in the middle of a fertility cycle, knew someone in the middle of a cycle, or one that just took up the banner of infertility as their cause. I had to think long and hard. I had to come to the conclusion  that while complaining can easily be seen as whining – NOT saying anything could put me and my babies in extreme danger, so I decided to speak up, just to the people who “needed” to hear it and not necessarily those that had ears. I had to learn to speak to my midwife and obstetrician (I get two because I’m considered high risk) and let them know what my aches and pains are. So now, instead of calling my closest girlfriend – who also happens to be pregnant and due next month, I call the birthing center. This way I don’t put anyone on edge about anything – yet I still feel as if my needs have been met.
*holy long blog post batman*
I said ALL of that to say this. I have been diagnosed with SPD – or Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. To make it easy on all of you like HUH?! I’ll just say that my pelvic bone has softened to the point of discomfort. And having TWO babies laying on it ain’t helping matters. While I cherish each growing moment of the lives that I am carrying – it does become a bit frustrating when I can’t be as active with the cellist and the ladybug as I once was. The degree of walking that we could do in New Orleans was minimal after Tuesday – in which I had illusions of grandeur and walked for six plus hours – I hurt the entire night. I’m trying. I look for the good in every day, every moment, but sometimes I feel like a weakling because I do hold back on letting folk know that I’m in pain. I keep thinking just 86 more days – and I’ll have two more people to love on, just 86 more days, and all of this pain will be a fleeting memory.
Just 86 more days………..


  1. *Kitty Farts* says:

    Oh Natasha, I know how you feel in so many ways. Though I've never had a miscarriage, I know what it's like when your pregnancy doesn't quite meet your expectations. I was determined to have a normal pregnancy despite my transplant, but my liver disease came back in the 2nd trimester and the meds to combat that led to GD. I didn't want to tell anyone about it because I felt like I failed. But the result, my baby girl, said otherwise.

    Praying for you and the twizzlers.

  2. ~D says:

    I guess we sometimes follow the same rules in marriage: I don't want to talk about the "worse" in the for better or for worse and so on. When I was preggo with Lil Girl I HATED the morning sickness. I went through it and there was some other things going on but who likes nausea because of gratitude? Not me. I haven't arrived there yet.

    But speaking up may not only save your life and your babies but someone else and their baby(ies) too.

    I am so happy for you! God is a restorer indeed!

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